What is my story?

I will begin from the time that I gave birth to my first child, when I was just 21 years old and I was very naive about what was to come.

I thought parenting was going to come naturally to me but I was so wrong.

The natural language of connection with my child that I thought I was supposed to have was missing big time.  I did not understand children and what I was supposed to do when they did not want to do what I wanted them to do. I did not know what to do when they were going through big emotions and all I wanted was for them to stop having them.  I treated them like adults and expected them to behave like adults but adults who had to be under my control. I did not know I had so much anger in me and I was expressing it all on a little 2 feet child.

I knew it was wrong and it was not my child’s fault and I used to feel desperate but I did not know any other way of parenting.  The more I wanted to control my child, the more out of control I felt and the angrier I used to feel, at my child, at myself and at my life.

By the time I had my second child, I thought I was a little older and perhaps a little wiser.  My second child did not give me as many opportunities to clash because of a different temperament than my first child.  I still use to have big bursts of anger and feeling out of control but they were spaced out further apart. I was under the false impression that I was parenting better now but the biggest piece was still missing, a real true deep connection with them by seeing them for who they are and not for who I needed them to be.

Life went on as it does for all of us.

On the surface, it looked like I had it all together, lovely, happy children and loving relationship with my life partner. I was a dutiful daughter, a good friend and overall a really fun person to be around.

In 2018, I started feeling discontented with myself and my life.  I had been feeling it for a long time but this was the year that I began allowing myself to feel it.  On my bad days, I used to lay on my bed questioning everything in my life and do the thing that most of us are so good at doing, I judged & criticised myself.  I would question why I felt such disconnection with my children, my husband, my friends, my parents, my life…….  I would tell myself, I am not a good mother, a good wife and a good daughter because the things that people around me seem to do so effortlessly in their role as a mother, wife & daughter seemed to be things that I really had to work hard on, I did not want to do them and it just was not natural to me.  So, the conclusion had to be that there is something wrong with me. 

I knew I wanted to parent a different way, I wanted to feel a deeper connection with my life and everyone in my life.  I wanted to live differently but I did not know what I was looking for.

Then, one day I heard Dr Shefali and immediately felt that the knowledge & wisdom she was imparting was the journey that I had been seeking to go on.  Looking back now, I realise, I had begun my journey of a seeker since the age of 22 years old, after my first child was born.  I had my first phase of turning the spotlight on to myself and had begun to ask - who am I,  what am I doing, where am I going????

What happened in 2018 was that I had used up the resources that I had easy access to within me and I needed a teacher to show me the pathway of digging deeper, the pathway to connect to my authentic self, the pathway to access wisdom that all of us are born with but lose the connection to during our childhood.

I was fired back up and thus, began my journey of growing further, healing my inner child wounds as they surface up, reconnecting to my being, my essence and learning about Conscious Parenting, my tool, my guide to what I had been looking for since I had my children, the pathway to connecting with growing human beings who had trusted me to be their mother.  

Bringing in the practice of Conscious Parenting meant that I had to have the awareness  of my wounds, my triggers, my pain points, my ego, its coping patterns, its defence mechanisms, my ego’s various masks and begin working on healing myself.  I had to begin to connect to my authentic self, to love it and to honour it.  I realised the DISCONNECTION that I felt with others was because I was not connected to my authentic self.  As I began to develop a deeper connection to my true self, I began to feel a deeper connection with my children, my husband, my parents, my friends and my life.  I realised I wasn’t broken, I had simply been disconnected from my wholeness just like most of us are.

During the Covid year, my second child went through a mental health crisis and I was immensely grateful to the practice of Conscious Parenting that I had begun just 2 years prior to that and was working on it.  It was a painful and difficult period for my child and us as a family but we were able to move through it because of Conscious Parenting. 

I had the wisdom, knowledge and practice of how to sit in my own pain of having to watch my child suffer & process that pain separately whilst simultaneously, be the steady conscious container that I needed to be, to hold the space for my child’s pain without trying to fix & control which would have been the obvious unconscious reaction to pain.  As difficult as those times were, it became my second chance to see, hear, validate my child, to deeply connect with my child and perhaps to heal a few wounds that I had unconsciously given her in her childhood.

This is why I am immensely passionate about spreading the message of Conscious Parenting, reparenting our inner child, healing ourselves so that we see and connect to our children’s essence and give space for them to unfold on to who it is that they are here to be.

Doing my inner work everyday and working everyday on accessing the wisdom within me has meant that I have a deep connection with myself, my husband, my children, my parents, everyone that I choose to be with, my purpose and this life.

An Empowered Being knows that - 

The power lies in Accepting that control is an illusion,

The power lies in Seeing your own truth,

The power lies in Loving yourself unconditionally first,

The power lies in Trusting the universe,

The power lies in Grounding in nature’s abundance,

The power lies in Being a student of life,

The power lies in Embodying spiritual wisdom,

The power lies in Unshackling from all belief systems,

The power lies in Living through everflowing presence,

The power lies in Practising consciousness,

The power lies in Simply Being You.